Sex Diaries Project

What It Was Like to Have Sex With Your Best Friend?

Having sex is great. Having friends is great. Sometimes the two combine and we want to have sex with our best friends. Sex with your best friend isn't like having sex with others. There are some things you need to know before you have sex with your best friend and we have them here for you.

Sex With Your Best Friend

Communicate Before Having Sex

Before hooking up with your best friend or taking your relationship anywhere romantic it is important to talk with them. As we will discuss in the next section, things will change in your relationship. It is important that both parties are open to that and that you aren't just having sex on a whim.

Communication beforehand will also help you to establish what kind of relationship is going to come from having sex. Are you going to be friends with benefits? Are you going on a date? Is it a one time thing? Not having this established beforehand can lead to big problems down the road.

It Will Change Things

No matter what, having sex with your best friend is going to change your relationship with your best friend. This is true even if you both agree on it and you continue to have sex. Sex brings another level of intamacy to a relationship between best friends and that changes things.

It is important to know that the changes will be both good and bad.

For some best friends, sex can be the last thing you do in your relationship. Sometimes the friendship breaks down once you decide to be more than friends and that is something that you need to be prepared for.

Changes To Your Friendship Circle

When you have sex with your best friend, you are not just changing your relationship with your best friend, you are changing your friend circle. Either you will be keeping a secret from your friend circle or your friends are now going to view you as a couple. Or if things go bad with your friendship, it could be that the circle now has to decide who they will be friends with.

The degree that your sexual relationship will change a friend circle varies greatly. The relationship after you have sex, the people in your friend circle, your personality, your best friend's personality, etc. can all play a role in how significant the changes are. In some friend circles you might not even notice any changes.

Being prepared for these changes is important. Consider whether you are willing for such a change to happen.

It Will Be Passionate

Friendship means that you have spent time making a connection. When you are best friends, you have taken that connection to a whole nother level. You probably know most, if not all, dislikes and likes of your bestie. This means that you are already geared to do a good job pleasing them, whether you know it or not. The same in reverse.

It will also be more passionate simply because you are already close to your best friend. You already have the emotions there and don't have to spend time developing them before true passion is there.

Be prepared for it to be a more passionate experience than you are used to.

It Is Natural

If you tell your other friends about having sex with your best friend, you might hear that you used your friend or relationship. That definitely isn't true. When you have a close relationship with someone you invest a lot of time, emotions, and more into the relationship. You build a bond.

Strong, natural bonds often lead to sexual experiences. This isn't just true with best friends. All kinds of relationships where you are with someone a lot, get to know them well, and feel comfortable with them lead to sex.

Don't let someone tell you what you are doing is wrong or unnatural. As long as there is consent, the relationship is perfectly natural.

Communication Is Already Easy

Being able to speak with a new romantic partner can be awkward. You have to learn each other's communication style and work to become comfortable with them. Best friends are already great at communicating and often know each other's secrets, meaning there is already comfort there. Communication should be great before, during, and after the sex.

You Can Skip The Awkward Meet The Family Stage

If you move your best friendship into a romantic relationship you don't have to go through the awkward family stage. Your best friend already knows your family and the only awkwardness, if any, comes from telling your family that you are now partners.

You Can Trust Them

Trusting a new partner can be hard, especially for people who have a hard time trusting people in general. That trust already exists with your best friend. You don't need to spend the time developing that trust with someone new.

As a note, some people do find it hard to convert best friend trust to romantic trust. Often this comes because they are afraid of getting emotionally hurt.

Bad Sex Can Leave You Feeling Weird

It is rare that best friends have bad sex but it does happen. If you and your best friend end up having bad sex, it can leave you in a weird place. You wonder if you really know each other well and you wonder if you are compatible.

While bad sex can leave your relationship in a weird place, it is completely possible to come back from. You just have to make sure to communicate and dedicate yourself to working it out.

Communicate After The Sex

Just like you communicate before having sex with your best friend, it is crucial to communicate after. Talking about whether the experience was enjoyable or not will likely be the first thing that comes to mind to ask. That isn't all you need to talk about though.

You want to make sure that you agree that your original plans for where you want your friendship to go still are valid. Discussing your feelings and anything you have on your mind is also essential.

As a bonus, you also don't have to wait to text after your first date like traditional dating niceties dictates. No one likes waiting after all.

Having sex with your best friend can be one of the best things that you ever do. At the same time, it can ruin relationships. You need to examine your individual relationship and communicate with your best friend to determine whether it is right for you. Either way, sex with your best friend is almost always the best sex.

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