Sex Diaries Project

How to Successfully Find A Third Person for The Bedroom

When you have been with someone for a long time, you might want to spice things up in the bedroom. After all, monotony can deteriorate a relationship, and you need something different after a while. One way to do that is by spicing up your sex life by including a third person.

According to a study, more than 90% of swingers have admitted that having different partners while being in a relationship enhanced their relationship. So, it might be a good idea to start looking into this possibility. If you want to find a third person for the bedroom, you are in the right place.

Here is everything you need to know about successfully involving a third person in the bedroom.

How To Find?

Third Person Bedroom

1. Join A Hookup Website Or App

Thanks to technology, the process of finding a third person for the bedroom is not tedious. All you have to do is find the right platform to get in touch with a third person. Of course, there are endless such applications and websites out there, but here are our top three picks:

  • - The world's largest sex & swinger community
  • - The best casual hookup site for finding some FWB fun.
  • - The most famous dating app for everyone.

All these platforms have millions of subscribers worldwide. You can choose the one you think is best for you and your partner and start searching for a third person. You will easily find many options in your local area on these platforms.

2. Show That You Are A Couple

Platforms like the ones stated above have settings you can utilize to indicate to other people on the platform that you are a couple. For example, on Tinder, you can keep your gender as a "couple." Utilizing such settings will help people that want to be a part of this swipe right and ones that don't to swipe left.

That is why you should set a joint profile and find a third partner together. It will allow you to communicate what you both want from the third person and what exactly you are looking for. You should set a profile picture of both of you so the third person can decide if they are attracted to you as a couple.

3. The Art Of Writing A Bio

Your bio is your description, and it should accurately reflect who you are as a couple. Therefore, write it in such a way that it is an accurate representation of what you both are like. For example, you can divide the bio into three parts.

The first part should describe one partner, the second part should describe the other partner, and the third part should help people understand what you are looking for. The third part is critical, and you need to be honest about what you want to find the perfect third person.

If you are dishonest or don't accurately convey what you need, the third person will not want to be a part of your threesome. Keep in mind that you should not get too specific about your needs as no one wants to be put through a checklist on a dating platform.

Give a general idea about what you are looking for and be honest about it. Doing so will allow the right third person to be a part of your threesome adventure respectfully.

4. Messaging Potential Third Partners

Once you have your profile set up, you can actively seek a third partner. You can do this by messaging people you think will fit right into your threesome. However, you should always start your conversation in a way that feels natural and light.

The easiest way to strike a natural conversation is to learn something about the person from their profile and showing interest in it. Once you have begun talking, you can ask the potential third partner what they are looking for on the platform. It will help them understand that you are interested in their desires and needs.

When they answer this, it should be in alignment with what you want for this to work. Let them know what you and your partner are interested in and then hear what they have to say about it. After all, this partnership is all about mutual benefits, and if their desires don't align with yours, they are not the right fit for you and your partner.

Be open and honest with potential third partners and respect their boundaries. Don't push them to accept what you want if they have already said no.

5. Enjoy The Experience

Once you have found the right partner on the platform, it is time to take it to the next level and enjoy the experience. Keep in mind that all three people in this experience should enjoy it. While you and your partner must have communicated to each other about your sexual needs, it is essential to consider the sexual needs of the third person too.

That is because the potential third person has agreed to become a part of it to meet their sexual needs. That is why it is essential to make them feel wanted and hear them out. If you don't tune into their needs, they will feel secondary and will not enjoy the experience of a threesome.

Here are the top ways you can communicate with the third person to understand what they require:

  • Ask them what they want
  • Ask them what they don't want from this experience
  • Ask them what they expect and want to explore
  • Ask them their boundaries and their limits
  • Ask them if they want it to be a one time thing or more

All these questions will help you understand what the third person wants. You can then set your experience accordingly so everyone can have fun. If you got what you wanted, you could have this experience again if everyone in this partnership agrees to it.

What You Need To Know?

Finding a third person for the bedroom should only be done once you have your partners' approval. Before you decide to look for one, here are the top two things you should do with your partner.

Talk To Your Partner

Before you decide to look for a third person, you should discuss it with your partner. Ask them if they are okay with it and approve of involving a third person in the bedroom. That is because you need to do it without creating any negative feelings towards each other.

Both of you should be open to it and willing to explore it for it to work and for everyone to enjoy it. Communicate with your partner and let them know that this step is purely for sexual gratification and nothing more. If they disagree with it, you need to respect their decision.

However, if they are on the same page as you, you can go ahead and find a third person for your bedroom. Both of you should be equally involved in this process to enjoy it to the fullest.

Set Ground Rules

Embarking on such an adventure to spice up your sex life may sound great, but it will not work unless you lay down some ground rules. We all have our limits, and you need to know your limits and your partner's. That is because you want to keep your relationship intact and enjoy the experience.

  • The top rule should be that no one should hook up with the third person without the other partner present
  • Discuss if you want it to be a one time thing or more than that and set the rule
  • Discuss the times and dates you would want to have the threesome at
  • Set a rule of the location. You should not do it in your room as that space is for you and your partner exclusively
  • Set rules on what sexual kinks you want to explore during this experience

Discussing all these points is essential for the experience to be excellent for you and your partner. It will establish boundaries that you both can't cross. After all, it should not affect your relationship and hurt each other's feelings.

Be respectful of what your partner says and ask them to respect your decisions too. You want to go through this smoothly without complicating your relationship.

Final Words

That was your complete guide on how to find a third person for the bedroom. The process can be tricky and complicated for couples doing it for the first time, but you can easily do it by following this guide. Keep in mind that respect and understanding is the most important thing to make this entire experience enjoyable for everyone involved. Once you understand this, let loose and don't forget to have fun.

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