6 First-Time Threesome Sex Tips for Couples to Have More Fun
Whether you have found an elusive unicorn or are looking for a one-time hook-up, threesomes are an unforgettable experience filled with passion, arousal, and lots of fun. Of course, finding someone to join you and your partner during sex is not always easy. Most people are still used to conventional monogamous relationships, so finding a person that is attracted to two people and willing to share a sexual experience with them requires time and patience.
Thankfully, people are more open about their sexuality than ever. Whether you are gay, straight, bi, or pansexual, finding someone to join you and your partner in the bedroom is easier than it has ever been. Online dating sites and apps certainly help with this, while you may even find yourself in a threesome with someone you just met at a bar or club.
Regardless, finding yourself in a threesome for the first time is undoubtedly exciting, if not slightly daunting too. Threesomes are incredibly unique, involving three people all looking to make a physical (and sometimes emotional) attachment with each other, which brings its own challenges you might not be expecting.
Think how hard it can be to connect with just a single person during sex - now imagine adding another person into the mix!
Therefore, planning your threesome with your partner can help make it go much more smoothly, so check out some tips below to ensure you all have an amazing, drama-free time.
Talk About What You Both Want
Open communication is essential for any couple having a threesome for the first time. You both must be honest about what you want and desire from the threesome, along with any apprehensions anyone might have.
Once you and your partner have had an open discussion about the threesome, you should then have a similar conversation with the person joining you. This can happen after chatting with your partner or at the same time, just ensure that everyone has had the chance to talk about the situation before any sex happens.
Nobody should feel coerced into a threesome or doing something they may find uncomfortable, so get everything out in the air to ensure that everyone is consenting, comfortable, and excited about the threesome!
Always Set Boundaries
Make sure that everyone has the chance to set their boundaries before you get intimate. Don't make the mistake of assuming anything goes just because you have all agreed to a threesome!
It is easy to get caught up in the moment during a threesome, so by setting boundaries and sticking to them, you reduce the risk of any post-threesome regrets occuring for someone. Just because one person as a specific kink or turn-on, doesn't mean everyone else is comfortable trying it!
We recommend covering all bases when discussing boundaries. This ranges from basic things like kissing and cuddling to anything you might explore during sex like oral, penetration, anal, dirty talk, roleplaying, using sex toys, BDSM etc.
Be Prepared for Various Emotions
Expect a lot of emotions to occur during a threesome, most of which are good, some that are less enjoyable. Jealousy is the big one to remember and be prepared for. Threesomes are not always going to involve everyone getting it on at the same time, with lulls and moments where one person may feel less involved.
Sexual jealousy is something unique to threesomes and you should be prepared for it, even if you are not anticipating it initially. A lot of people won't find this to be a problem, especially if you are prepared for it beforehand, although there are some that may find it to be too offputting.
If you or your partner feels too uncomfortable or jealous during the threesome, try slowing things down or stopping all together. Be open if it is something you are feeling too, as you will only feel worse bottling it inside.
A good rule to follow is remembering that the threesome is something you all want and it is there to improve your sex life, and by extension, your relationship as a couple. Also, if you are having a hard time, try to focus on how much enjoyment and pleasure your partner is having, and the fact you are contributing to this as well.
Go Out Together Before Having Sex
This is a good choice for many couples, as it helps to serve as a nice ice breaker. You can take this time to chat about the threesome, or just generally get to know each other a bit better. We always recommend avoiding a threesome with a friend or someone you know, so this is a good way to get more familiar with the person you are inviting into the bedroom.
Make Sure Everyone is Getting Attention
Striking the right balance of attention is key to a good threesome. Everyone should get equal focus, and there should never be too much attention on just one person. This is important for couples who focus too much on each other, as it can leave the third person feeling left out!
Consider research threesome-friendly sex positions, which ensure that everyone is getting involved and nobody feels too excluded. There will be moments where one person is not the centre of attention and that is okay, providing that they get their turn at some point!
Be Spontaneous
Assuming you are all still sticking to boundaries and commuting during the threesome, don't be afraid to go with the flow. Getting lost in the moment of passion is all part of the fun and excitement!
Try not to overthink things, otherwise the moment may pass you by. Have fun with the incredible experience and remember that you are all here to have a great time together.