7 Kinky Things to Try In A Relationship
While everyone loves that sweet vanilla, most of us also crave a little spice in the bedroom now and then. Whether you're looking for a little or a lot of spice, you've come to the right place. Here, you'll find a list of kinky sex ideas to excite yourself and your partner.
Talking about sex might seem taboo, but that shouldn't stop you! No matter what kinks you choose to explore, communicating with your partner is the most important part of any kinks. Telling your partner what you like and where you like it is a sure-fire way to get off good. If you're not sure how they feel, all you need to do is ask!
With some kinks (like consensual non-consent) it's important to establish rules and discuss boundaries before play but conversing in the moment is good practice. You can guide each other directly, and communication in and of itself can be sexy.
#1 Dirty Talk
Depending on the mood you like to set in bed, talking 'dirty' can take many forms. You could tell your lover about your favorite parts of their body, how much you love seeing the expression on their face, how dirty or naughty they are for doing something, or how you feel about what they're doing to you. You could order them around or talk softly about how much you appreciate them.
#2 Watching Your Partner Masturbate
Most people think that masturbation is what we do when no one else is around. Think again. Ask your partner to masturbate in front of you. At first, watch them without touching. Touch yourself if you like but give them time to work up their desire for you. Make eye contact. Talk dirty.
Watching your partner masturbate will also teach you about how they like to be touched. Use this information wisely. You can also have sex this way when you're apart by masturbating over video chat. Phone sex and masturbation go together like peanut butter and jelly.
#3 Food Play
Speaking of peanut butter… have you ever thought about trying a peanut butter blow job? This is a great kink for foodies. You can lick something delicious off of your partner's neck, thighs, chest, or genitals. Consider things that have a similar consistency to honey, chocolate, or maple syrup. You could also spread some whipped cream onto your naked bodies and bring something to dip like strawberries or chocolates. Get creative!
If you prefer less mess, opt for the ice instead. A fun way to introduce ice in the bedroom is to let it start to melt in your mouth before giving oral. Swish the ice around in your mouth so that it touches your partner a little bit. Then move the ice to lick them with your cold tongue.
You can also move the ice along their body, letting the cold water drip down their back or thighs.
#4 Sensation Play
Ice dips its toes in both food play and sensation play. Sensation play is all about enhancing feeling through deprivation. Imagine this scene. You're lying on the bed with your eyes closed, completely naked. Your partner doesn't touch you at all, save for the very tips of their fingers lightly trailing the length of your entire body from your toes to your lips.
All your focus is put on the sensation of their fingers. Maybe they breathe close to your neck or between your thighs, and with your other senses like sight or sound lessened, your capacity to feel the heat from their lungs is heightened.
There are lots of different sub-categories of sensation play. Some include using vibrators, nipple clamps, or different scents. Explore the sensations you enjoy most, and consider shopping online for some toys with your partner. Since toys come in all different shapes, sizes, and textures, make sure you find one that suits you both best.
#5 New Sex Positions
This one might seem obvious, but if you aren't conscious of it during sex, you might fall into the same patterns. Even when you have a variety of go-to positions, your arsenal might get old after a while. Trying out new positions will add some adventure to doing the nasty.
Sixty-nine is a great position, but did you know you can do it in more than one way? Switch the top and bottom around. Try lying sideways using each other's thighs as pillows. Prop yourself up on arms and legs or lay right on top of your partner. Creativity is the key to trying new positions. You could look them up online, or you could create your own in the moment.
Think about how often you like to have sex standing or in the shower or tub. Wouldn't you like to do that more? Unique places call for unique positions. When you have sex in the kitchen or on the couch, furniture can help with your new position-making skills.
Even in doggy style, there is an infinite number of different positions you can do. Transition from kneeling upright with raised hips to kneeling with the butt lowered on the feet. Spread the legs more or keep them close together. Pull the chest down or sit upright completely. Mixing and matching all the intricate subtleties will allow you to create variety in a standard position.
#6 Edging
Edging is all about building anticipation. You could do it throughout the day, throwing subtle hints or making your partner horny by kissing and touching. Or, you could harness all the energy during your bedroom session.
Start slow. Don't go right into oral or fondling. First focus on kissing and sexual cuddling. Gently rub your lips—without actually kissing—over your partner's neck. The idea is to make them want you and then make them wait to have you. Slowly and gently touch their legs, their thighs, their hips. Touch their shoulders and neck—touch everywhere except the one place they really want you to touch.
Then, once your partner is bursting with desire, turn things up a notch. Start touching and kissing—but do it slowly. You want to extend foreplay for as long as possible to get your partner squirming, on edge, to receive pleasure.
#7 Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, Masochism
While we don't talk about it at the office or the dinner table all that often, BDSM has an enormous presence in our culture. Think about spanking, whipping, or hair pulling. It's important to note that it's not for everyone, but with the go-ahead from your partner, it can be very rewarding.
You could go all out with strappy outfits, fancy knots, and erotic props, but not everyone can invest the money into their BDSM lifestyle. There are lots of great inexpensive products you can buy online to explore kinks, but it's important to explore your kinks before breaking the bank. In a pinch, you can use any rope-like material to bind your partner's wrists like the waistband tie from a robe or a thin long-sleeved shirt. Belts make great impromptu whips, and when you have nothing, just use your hands!
Sadomasochism, dominance, and submission are ultimately about power. This can involve humiliation, making demands, or distributing punishment. Remember to communicate well with your partner and distinguish between what is okay in and out of bed.
These kinky ideas are by no means an exhaustive list. One of the best ways to experience these kinky ideas is to combine them! Keep things exciting and keep exploring!