7 Basic Sexual Health Tips Everyone Should Know
It's common to want to be good in bed, and many people search for how to please their lover, but before you master your bedroom techniques, you'll want to learn the basics. Here are 7 basic sexual health tips everyone needs to know.
#1 Communication
The most important part of sex is communication—from start to finish to aftercare. Talking to your partner about what you like, what you don't like, and what both of your expectations are will set you up for success. If you don't know exactly what you like, you can learn on your own through masturbation or take mental notes along the way with your partner. After sex, you can talk to them about what you enjoyed the most or ask them what their favorite part was.
#2 Consent
Good communicators know what constitutes consent and what doesn't—but most of us aren't the best at communicating, and consent is a seemingly underrated concept in today's culture. It's important to always respect your partner and to know that a partner who is under the influence or silent can not give consent. Never put pressure on your partner to do something they dislike or aren't ready for—whether it is fondling a certain spot, trying anal sex for the first time, or engaging in sex in a new place. When in doubt, just ask.
#3 Cleanliness
Since you're dealing with sensitive areas during sex, it's important to keep things clean. Especially if you or your partner's fingers will be inside the body—whether that be the mouth, vagina, or anus—your hands should be clean. Make sure to wash under your fingernails, and if you can, cut and file your nails so that they are short and smooth. Soap is safe to use around your genitals, but don't let any get inside the body. Peeing after sex is a great habit to avoid getting UTI's (urinary tract infections) which result from bacteria entering the urethra.
#4 Contraception
Safe sex is healthy sex. There are lots of different methods. Some are used every time you have sex, like spermicide and condoms. Others are used on a schedule, like birth control pills and shots. Others only need maintenance once every few years, like implants and IUDs. It's important to use contraceptives because pregnancy should always be planned. Children require a lot of time, attention, and money. If you're not ready for that commitment, contraceptives are necessary. Talk to your partner about their preferred method, and if there is any reasonable doubt, use a condom! Condoms add another layer of protection against pregnancy, and they protect against STDs and STIs. They're safe to use vaginally and anally. After sex, if you're concerned about a potential pregnancy, there are emergency contraception options like the Plan B pill. However, these are not recommended for frequent use.
#5 Lubrication
Wherever you enter, you want to make sure it's lubricated. This could mean extending foreplay until the vagina gets itself wet enough for penetration. If you or your partner have trouble getting wet on your own, spit works in a pinch. There is also no shame—and lots of pleasure—in using lube.
There are many different kinds of lube, and it's important to know what you're buying and when to use it. Water-based lubes are the most popular, and they're safe to use with toys and condoms. Silicone-based lubes are great for water play and feel silky smooth, but they don't get along well with fabrics, toys, and some kinds of condoms. Oil-based lubes are a more natural option, but they should never be used with latex condoms.
#6 Pleasure
While reproduction seems to be the purpose of sex, that's not why most of us do it. We have sex for pleasure, and by having sex intentionally to increase pleasure for both parties, you'll reach new heights. The male orgasm is more straightforward than the female orgasm. For women, reaching climax is less common, and some women never experience an orgasm at all.
To make sex more pleasurable, try slowing it down and talking in bed. The most disappointing thing is when your partner hits the spot only to move on shortly. Tell your partner what feels good. And if your partner indicates what they like through their words or moans, take notes! To please a woman, focus on the clitoris and try finding her g-spot by having her lay down on her back and fingering her with a beckoning motion. Ladies, you can try this on yourself, too!
Oral sex is another great way to pleasure your partner. It's important to note that oral sex, giving or receiving, is not for everyone, and you should stay within your comfort zone during sex. If you love sucking, licking, and kissing, try doing these things around your partner's belly and thighs. Getting your partner excited through foreplay will increase their pleasure during sex.
#7 Education
Keep furthering your education! There will always be things you don't know, and increasing your knowledge in bed will help you become a happier, healthier lover. Learn about how to stay clean during anal play, tips on oral sex, new positions, and fresh techniques. Continually learning is the best thing you can do for your sex life. Read up online, talk to your friends, or consult your doctor!