Sex Diaries Project

NSA, FWB: How to Make These Two Dating Terms Work?


It seems that the world of dating has not changed much over the past few decades except for the terminology. What was once "free love" has now turned into dating terms that consist of abbreviations that can be confusing, especially to those who are re-entering the dating scene.

What follows are two of the most common casual dating terms - NSA & FWB, what they mean, how you can find someone who is interested in the same thing, and how to make these kind of casual relationships work?

NSA - No Strings Attached

NSA means No Strings Attached. In other words, this is dating without a commitment to each other. NSA has been around for a long time, but the older term is "open relationship". You may have heard of people in an open marriage and NSA is basically the same thing.

No strings mean no commitment, no expectations that there will be a commitment, and no judgment if your partner decides to date someone else. Of course, the same rules apply to you, so if you want to continue to date, you can.

FWB - Friends with Benefits

FWB means Friends with Benefits. In some ways, FWB is like the NSA. In this case, you are friends with your partner. You do things that friends would do such as go to sporting events or concerts, hang out at each other's place, and the like. However, the benefits part means that you engage in sexual relations without being in a relationship.

Admittedly, FWB is also much like a normal relationship between two people. The caveat is that you are just friends which means you can still look for another partner if you desire and so can your friend.

Thus, NSA and FWB have many similarities. The major difference is that with NSA you date and may even live together as a couple. While an FWB means that you still live apart and do not act as a couple. The differences may seem subtle, but the overall goal is the same. To enjoy the full benefits of being in a relationship without the hassle of being committed to each other.

If that is what you want, then your partner will need to want the same for such a relationship to work. Thus, you must find someone who is interested in being an NSA or FWB relationship.

How to Find an NSA or FWB Partner?

Find fwb

The best way to find someone looking for the same thing as you is by using hookup sites that foster this type of meeting.

  • - Editor's pick, the best FWB hookup site.
  • Tinder - The most popular hookup apps for casual relationships.
  • Okcupid - One of the best dating sites on the web.
  • POF - The oldest free hookup site.
  • - Another good dating site for casual dating.

These are the best and fastest ways to find someone looking for the same thing as you. This way, there are no misunderstandings, no miscommunication. Simply set up an account, fill out the information, and start looking for singles in your area who want the same thing.

How to Make It Works

Remember that NSA and FWB relationships are still relationships, they just operate in a different mode than traditional ones.

Be Direct from the Start

In other words, make it clear what you want right from the beginning so that there is no misunderstanding. The last thing you want is to hurt the feelings of the person that you are engaging in an NSA or FWB with and they are not on the same page. About the only thing worse is finding out yourself that what you thought the relationship was is not what you thought it would be.

So, be clear, be direct, and be honest. The worst thing that can happen is that you avoid a big misunderstanding and that is a good thing.

Avoid Miscommunication

Remember there is what you speak with your mouth and what you speak with your body language. Being in an FWB relationship means you need to avoid the traditional traps of a standard relationship. This means the following.

  • No sleepovers
  • No cuddling
  • No gifts, flowers, or cards
  • No clinging
  • No introduction to family

This may sound harsh to some, but if you want to maintain your FWB, then you will need to follow those rules.

NSA relations are different in the sense that both of you acknowledge a relationship exists, but you are keeping your options open. This means the following.

  • No expectations of commitment
  • No jealousy when your partner finds another lover

Be sure to keep your mind open to finding someone else as well. Otherwise, you might start miscommunicating with your NSA partner.

Play the Field

If you are in an NSA or FWB relationship, then by all means keep searching. It can be easy to fall into the rut of staying in a comfortable relationship only to find out that your partner has still been searching.

The core idea behind an NSA or FWB relationship is that you have yet to find the person you want to be committed to in a traditional way. While you may never find that person, if it's not the one you currently have an NSA or FWB, then you should still be open to playing the field. Comfortability breeds content which in turn changes how you feel about the relationship.

Everything Changes

The only constant in the universe is change. You may find that your heart is being pulled towards someone else. Or, you may find that the person you are with is the one you want to make a commitment.

Whatever the case, you must listen to your feelings and tell your partner what is happening. The earlier you do so, the less intensive the consequences will be. It's never easy, but if you are seeking to either end the relationship or transform it into something else, your partner will need to know right away.

Keep in mind that over time feelings, situations, and circumstances will change. You may find yourself drawn to someone else or wanting to have a deeper commitment to your FWB or NSA partner. If that is the case, then you will need to communicate that desire clearly so that both of you can either make that commitment or find others.

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