9 Myths About Dom Sub Relationships - Enjoy Your Exploration of BDSM
The world of BDSM is quite popular, especially after movies and books like 50 Shades of Gray started becoming popular. That being said, a lot of these sources give out bad information to those interested in Dom sub relationships.
To help you get the best information possible, we are going to discuss some of the most accurate information of Dom sub relationships possible.
Dom Sub Relationships Is Bad For You
This is one of the most popular myths out there, especially for groups that oppose BDSM. BDSM is a natural activity that people love to participate in. Anyone who is interested in BDSM should know that two of the key parts are consent and safety.
Connected to this myth is another one, that those who enjoy Dom sub relationships are damaged. The truth is that it is hard to find people in the modern world who do not have some form of trauma in their past. This should make it obvious to you that you can't just say that the group is damaged just because of their past experiences.
Studies have been conducted into both of these myths and have found them to be exactly that, myths.
All BDSM is The Same
Another core myth is that BDSM is all the same. This is far from the truth. There are more different types of BDSM than you can shake a stick at. BDSM includes almost every kind of kink out there in one way or another.
A good way to think about BDSM and the differences is that there are billions of people who are interested in BDSM. Each of those people experiences BDSM in their own way. Take your time and explore what BDSM means to you and don't let anyone tell you that you are doing it wrong.
Of course the one exception to this is the two major concepts we mentioned about, safety and consent.
BDSM is a Kink or Fetish
Have you ever asked someone if they have a kink or fetish and they say BDSM? This is technically not a correct statement. BDSM isn't a kink or fetish on its own. It is a type of activity or a collection of activities.
BDSM includes a variety of kinks, mainly kinks that involve domination and submission. But that isn't true either. You can work in just about any kink into a BDSM scene if you are creative and interested in it.
Those who get into BDSM and learn about it, they will start to understand what we are talking about here. Oftentimes the more you learn about BDSM the more you will enjoy it too.
D/s is About The Sex
D/s is rarely about the sex. It is about the relationship between a dominant and a submissive. It is important to keep that in mind when exploring the world of BDSM. So many different things go into BDSM and with how unique people are that fires so many different desires from BDSM.
Some BDSM dynamics don't even involve sex at all!
When you communicate with people who might be partners, you can decide together whether you want sex to be involved. You can also decide how much sex is involved and what kind.
You Either Like BDSM or You Don't
Some people see the term BDSM and think that you either like BDSM or you don't. Or you are kinky or vanilla. They do not think there is anywhere in between. That is far from the truth.
Again, BDSM is tailored to every person who enjoys it. They like what they like and they don't like what they don't like. Some people only like basic kinks or easy kinks while others like to go all out.
You can think of BDSM as a scale if you want to but we caution against that. Some people may like more intense kinks in some areas but not in others, thus making the scale hard to view.
Domination is All About Anger, Aggression, and Action
The role of the dominant is to be in control but it is also to lead the BDSM scene. It is commonplace to view that role simplified to anger, aggression, and action. This partially stems from what people have seen in 50 Shades of Gray.
Sometimes dominance involves aggression, anger, and action in a safe way, but only if the scene calls for it. Sometimes a dominant can be more controlling if they choose not to take action in certain scenarios.
One of the things to keep in mind is that when anger and aggression appear in BDSM scenes it should be part of the scene, controlled. It shouldn't be appearing because of a lack of control or frustration. This can result in safety concerns.
The Dominant is Always In Control
A myth that surprises a lot of people is that the dominant person is always in control. While the dominant is in control to some degree, the submissive shares that control. They are able to change the scene through their behavior, and compliance.
Before the scene even starts, the conversation needs to happen as to what is going to happen and the rules for the scene. The submissive gets equal decision making power.
There are also some people who only identify as submissive at times. The two most well-known roles in BDSM are the dominant and submissive. There is another classification of roles, a switch. Like the name implies, a switch moves back and forth between the other roles. Sometimes this happens within a scene, sometimes it happens based on the scene they are on.
The Man is Always Dominant
A myth that is perpetuated quite regularly, even in parts of the BDSM world, is that the man is always the dominant. This isn't the truth. You probably remember what we have said numerous times before, every person is unique when it comes to BDSM.
An example of this is that some people who are normally dominant in their everyday lives want to try being submissive during BDSM.
It all depends on what you like.
BDSM Involves a Lot of Toys
Some people are hesitant to get into BDSM because they believe that it requires a lot of toys. As anyone who has looked at a sex shop before, sex toys can be expensive. No wonder why people might be hesitant to get into BDSM due to the cost.
The truth is that BDSM does not require any toys if you don't want it to. You get to design the BDSM scene with your partner to match what you have and what you desire.
Some people like to include household objects and items in their scenes to replace sex toys or because they provide a specific turnon.
The world of the Dom sub relationships and BDSM is great. You will find a lot of stuff that you enjoy but you will often find stuff that you never knew or never thought of before. Almost certainly you will find people who are not into the same things.
Hopefully now that these myths are dispelled you can better enjoy your exploration of the BDSM lifestyle. Should you find people who believe in one of these myths, feel free to share the article so they can learn too.