Sex Diaries Project
Menu

5 Steps to Get into the Femdom Lifestyle

Femdom lifestyle

Femdom is the term given to any female that takes on a dominant role in their sexual activities, usually as part of BDSM. Most people are familiar with a femdom lifestyle, with the fictional depiction of a dominatrix being a good example of a femdom role.

However, bondage, whips, chains, and fetish clothing are not necessarily essential for getting into the femdom lifestyle, although it certainly makes it that bit more fun for most people. In fact, the femdom lifestyle has become so popular in recent years that we are seeing more women interested in experiencing it for themselves.

Of course, dipping your toe into BDSM and the femdom lifestyle is a daunting prospect for most beginners, so we have created a handy guide to help find your inner dominatrix. Read below for all the tips you need to know for how to get into the femdom lifestyle:

1. Consider Using a Fetish Dating Site

If you are struggling to find a partner that wants to experience the femdom lifestyle with you, consider using a fetish dating site. There are many excellent fetish dating sites where it is easier to find like-minded individuals looking to experience the femdom lifestyle.

The internet has made it easier to connect with people that share similar fetishes, fantasies, and kinks, so it should be possible to find someone that can share your experience with you. Because BDSM has become increasingly popular in recent years, there are many websites dedicated to this niche that have many users eager to explore the world of BDSM with others.

2. Do Your BDSM Homework

BDSM is a collection of erotic activities and roleplaying that incorporate one or several aspects of bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism. Participants in BDSM take on a role, either dominant or submissive, with their activities being based around these established roles.

In the case of femdom, the female participant takes the dominant role, with the male or other female taking on a submissive role. This creates a unique power dynamic that the participants find incredibly arousing.

As the femdom, you take control of all the activities, instigating whatever happens while psychologically dominating your partner. It could be something mild like worshipping your feet or something kinkier like bounding and spanking your partner.

This is where it helps to understand more about BDSM. You will take on the dominant role so are in control of everything, so you'll want to know what aspects of BDSM you and your partner wish to experience. Here is a handy guide that covers all the important info you need to know before trying BDSM!

3. Identify Your Role

Taking on the role of dominant female is incredibly exciting for many women. Whether you are naturally dominant in other aspects of your life or just want to experience a new and exciting role in the bedroom, you get to showcase a new side of yourself for just you and your partner to enjoy.

There is no right or wrong way to start out as a femdom. Your role will differ from other femdoms, with some looking to enjoy a mild femdom role while others want to be much more extreme in their role.

It is all down to your own preferences. You may want to try different levels of domination and see what role fits you best.

For example, being a gentle femdom involves a female dominant partner that doesn't inflict pain or humiliation, focusing more on roleplaying and taking a dominant role from here - think a teacher disciplining her naughty student. It's a great role for beginners looking to experience being in control without getting too far out of their comfort zone.

BDSM femdom is a female dominant role that uses aspects of BDSM on her submissive partner. This is a popular choice for many women looking to really dominate, with things like whipping, spanking, pegging, humiliation, and worship commonplace. It is more on the extreme side but many feel is the most authentic femdom role.

Remember, there are no rules when it comes to establishing your role. There is no right or wrong role to take - just find the one that you and your partner enjoy the most.

4. Start Slow and Simple

Anyone trying the femdom lifestyle for the first time should take things slowly at first. Not only does this ensure you are both safe, it helps to build confidence in your femdom roles, which may take some time to identify as discussed above.

We recommend starting with some mild bondage, such as restraining your partner to the bed with handcuffs or ties. You could even just use a blindfold on your partner, as this gives you a surprising amount of control and a real taste of what being dominant is all about.

Once you get a feel for your role and what turns you both on, you can start to try out more aspects of BDSM.

5. Find the Right Partner

Remember, being a femdom is a shared experience. You can't be dominant unless you have someone that is submissive!

It is not always easy to find a partner that wants to become submissive. This is especially true for many men, who do not like the idea of being dominated by a female. Thankfully, there are many men out there that love dominant women and are more than happy to experience this in the bedroom.

Regardless of whether you are interested in males, females, or both, it is important that you find a consenting partner when you are trying femdom lifestyle. You want to talk before trying out anything, as it is important to establish what aspects of BDSM you wish to incorporate, such as whipping, humiliation, worship, bondage, sadomasochism etc.

Think about what you both want in the femdom lifestyle, what turns you on and how comfortable each person is in their role. You want a partner that understands the different roles being played in the fantasy, with all femdoms requiring a sub that is going to listen and obey all commands.

Home > BDSM > Article