How to Be Dominant Over Text

Punishment is a key component of a submissive and dominant relationship. This makes sense considering the D in BDSM stands for discipline, with the dominant individual responsible for administering this discipline on their sub whenever they break rules.

Even the best subs break the rules, giving the perfect chance to explore the dominant-submissive dynamic by providing a punishment that fits their crime. Of course, most of these punishments are done in person and incorporate other aspects of BDSM, from spanking to whipping to paddling, allowing you both to reinforce the dom-sub dynamic while getting a lot of pleasure from the experience.

However, there are instances where you cannot punish your sub in person. Domming remotely is easier said than done, as it can be challenging for the dom to know how to best punish their sub using nothing but text messages.

Yet texting is just a different form of communication, making it entirely possible to successfully explore your sub-dom dynamic without meeting in person. Assuming there is prior consent from the sub, then receiving dominant commands and punishments in the form of a text message can be incredibly arousing and fulfilling.

Make Sure Each Punishment is Appropriate

Before we get into possible punishments to text a sub, you always need to consider whether the punishment you are about to send them is appropriate.

As the dom it is important that you always text a punishment that is appropriate for their misdeed. When the sub breaks a rule, ensure that the punishment is of equal severity, meaning it if is only a mild rule they have broken a soft punishment should be text, whereas a more severe misdeed should receive a harsher punishment.

For instance, if you text the sub and they take a few minutes too long to respond, a soft punishment should suffice, something like commanding them not to wear their underwear for the day. If the punishment is more severe, then perhaps instruct them to physically punish themselves with spanking or nipple clamps.

It helps if the dom knows what punishments they dislike, as this ensures that the sub knows that they are being punished for a specific behaviour and must correct it going forward, further reinforcing the dominant and submissive dynamic.

Make Sure Punishments Are Not Too Mild

Another important thing to remember is to avoid being too soft with a punishment. This is genuinely bad for the dynamic as it is a big turn off for the sub if they are breaking rules and not being appropriately punished - it even worse if you give them no punishment at all!

Many subs enjoy the role most with regular discipline and punishment, meaning you may need to text them once per week, every other day, or even daily.

Then, let's get into how to punish your sub over text:

Send A Dirty Note to You

A good soft punishment to text your sub is commanding them to write you a note. There are a few routes you can take with this depending on your sub-dom dynamic. Some doms want their sub to write repeated lines over or write a small essay affirming their submissiveness.

Tell them to write how slutty they are or how they will do anything for their daddy or that they are an obedient slave - make them use language that is appropriate for your current dynamic.

You can make them do different things with the note too. For instance, you could make them mail you the note, putting them on restriction until you have received them. Another option could be to make them wear the note down their pants for the day, not being allowed to remove it until you say.

Wear a Sex Toy When Shopping

Text your sub commanding them to wear a sex toy in public. This could be love eggs, a butt plug, nipple clamps - anything that they have already consented to using before. Make sure that wearing the toy punishes them enough so that they know they need to correct their poor behaviour.

Moreover, the fact they are wearing this in public without anyone else realising makes it incredibly hot, adding the fulfilment you both achieve from it. When they are out and about, such as going to the store for shopping, they will have a constant reminder that they are being punished.

Make sure to be safe with whatever toys they are using, especially if using butt plugs as part of anal training. Training plugs are a good choice for beginners, while you should consider whether they are suitable for long use throughout the day.

Daily Tasks

If your sub wants daily punishment then you can take this approach. Send them daily mundane tasks to complete, demanding evidence of their completion by a specific time. Make sure that you explained the rules, including what the tasks entail, how many they can expect each day, and the resulting consequences for not doing them.

Tasks can fall under various categories, so make sure to choose one that is suitable for your sub and the relationship you share.

Some of the common tasks for your sub:

• Slutty selfies
• Orgasm denial
• Sexual roleplay
• Wearing your favourite outfit
• And so on...

Non-sexual Tasks

For example, an educational task aims to encourage growth, such as telling them to read each day or take up a new skill like painting. Tasks for your pleasure could entail them going to buy things you like, doing certain chores, or any task that they find frustrating that dom enjoys. 

Tasks include personal care (e.g. exercising, grooming, dieting etc.), insight tasks (e.g. answering questions or writing essays), and training tasks (e.g. learning your preferences, improving posture, making themselves more presentable etc.), or any task that they find frustrating that dom enjoys.

Your sub is likely to forget some of these tasks each day - they are only human after all - so this gives the perfect chance to punish them. Either give them more mundane tasks or a more severe punishment for failure to complete one - maybe some else included in this list!

Spanking

Spanking, flogging, and whipping are popular punishments in many sub-dom scenes yet you may think it is impossible to do this when playing remotely. Thankfully, modern smartphones have made it easier than ever to enjoy some remote punishment while maintaining your sub-dom dynamic.

For example, you can text them demanding that they spank themselves ten times as punishment for their behaviour, counting aloud after each spank. Demand that they send photos once they are finished, or to video the entire thing and end it to you.

You can take this to another level by demanding that they do this any time you text and command it. They will be rushed to make sure they respond in time, adding even more excitement to the submissiveness.