Things You Should Know Before Trying BDSM

Have you thought about trying BDSM? We don't blame you, the idea of BDSM is very alluring and draws many people in every day. Before engaging in BDSM it is important to learn more about what it is and the guidelines. Today that is what we are going to take a look at.

What is BDSM?

BDSM stands for Bodnage and Discipline, Dominance and submission, sadomasochism and Masochism. It is a short abbreviation for a long topic, many different kinks and sexual activities fit into BDSM. The shortest definition that we can give is that BDSM is the act of engaging in some form of Domination and submission.

One of the core parts of BDSM is safety. Sex is a very personal interaction and when you add BDSM into the mix it becomes even more personal. Trust is essential and part of that trust comes from all sides following the basic guidelines for BDSM. Let's explore some of those guidelines.

Communicate Is The Key

Communication is key in any relationship, including a BDSM one. Before, during, and after a scene you have to be open and honest. Good lines of communication help to ensure that everyone is comfortable, safe, and enjoying themselves.

It is also important to note that communication is even needed in hookups/one night stands in the BDSM world. You will see that communication is so important that it ties into the next to tips.

Part of communication is simply making sure that everyone is on the same page and that they understand the guidelines of BDSM. It doesn't hurt to read this article or another like it together so that you all learn the same guidelines.

Establish Safewords

Safe Words can help you to communicate when you are unsafe with a BDSM scenario and are essential. Safewords are the same as saying no and as such have to be respected no matter what. To help prevent safewords from being said accidentally or interrupting the scene your safeword should be something that you wouldn't normally say during BDSM encounters. Some people use the name of fruits, for example.

Some couples use a soft safeword to indicate that they want to slow down instead of just stop. This works well but just make sure that you don't confuse the two and come up with an alternative if you are using a gag or similar toy.

BDSM Limits

Limits are also an essential part of communication when it comes to BDSM (and sex in general). A limit is something that you don't want to do or can't do for any reason. Once a limit is set, it is something that cannot be violated without express permission before the BDSM scene starts.

Just like with safewords, limits can come in a soft form. When using a soft limit you can push up to the limit and push a little but shouldn't rush past it. Make sure that it is clear how soft such a limit is.

Be Adventurous

Part of BDSM is trying new things. If you continually use the same scene you will get bored quickly. While no one expects you to go past what you don't want to do there is plenty you can explore. Things that you may not have ever considered for example.

Part of exploring BDSM is trying out things that your partner enjoys. Chances are there will be at least one kink that your partner enjoys that you either are hesitant about or have never thought about. This is where you can have more fun but also ensure that your partner has as much fun as possible.

Be Prepared to Learn

BDSM often involves learning activities that you have never tried before or that you have no idea about, just like you need to be adventurous, you need to be ready to learn. Not only will a dominant take the role of teaching the submissive things that they need to learn, but you might also have to do some research online to find more details.

It also doesn't hurt to try researching BDSM ahead of time to find more things you want to try, be prepared to get in the game and understand the nuances. This is especially true if your partner is more well-versed in the terminology and practices of BDSM so that you can impress them.

The internet can be a great resource for learning about BDSM, this includes blogs, YouTube videos, and even porn websites. Just make sure that you are learning from reliable sources that can give you accurate information.

Always Practice Aftercare (Mental and Physical)

Aftercare is an essential but often overlooked part of BDSM. Aftercare is as simple as the name implies and there should always be time for it, the practice is simply taking care of cleaning up after a BDSM scene. The most obvious part of aftercare is cleaning your toys, sheets, clothes, and anything else involved in your scene. Leaving things unclean isn't only unsanitary, it can ruin your toys.

Something further to consider is mental aftercare. BDSM scenes can be quite intense and after you might still be in the mindset from that scene. This is especially true if you engage in a lot of roleplay. Mental aftercare is just as important as physical aftercare and involves clearing your mind, relaxing, and debriefing the scene with your partner.

Safety All The Time

We know this guideline comes last but it is one of the most important, you should always practice safety. Safety in BDSM takes many forms, not just wearing protection. Any time you are tying someone up, playing with risky scenes, etc. there needs to be safety in mind. Always have a way out of bondage devices for example.

Talk to your partner about what safety measures you need to take before a scene. Many of these other tips also fall under the category of safety too and that should emphasize the importance.

BDSM is a lovely activity that you can enjoy in and out of the bedroom. Almost anyone can find a form of BDSM that matches their sexual preferences. Take these guidelines and use them to help explore your desires with BDSM and if you need to find a partner, try these BDSM communities. We know that you will have a good time!